Texting and Self Defense

One of my friends recently took a trip where she had to be in the airport several hours. When she came back home she made several observations that she required me to sit down and listen to her about.....she said "you need to hear what I saw, and you need to tell people about this..."

What she observed is what we continually see everyday. It was people looking and/or listening to their phone and/or electronic devices. She said that it was scary because women and young people continually looked at their screens and had ear phones in their ears (I call ear phones "ear plugs"), never looking up to notice their environments.  


You might wonder why my friend was concerned about these people? 

One of the first lines of defense is environmental awareness---Look at the pictures on this post. Are the people in the pictures aware of their environment? Are they aware of the people around them and what those people are doing? I'd have to say no.

Two of your most powerful tools in keep yourself and family safe are; 1) your eyes and 2) your ears

---it's ok to text and enjoy your electronic devices, but there is a place and time to do that-----it's when you can be fully aware of your environment having full confidence in your safety.

Pictures: 
http://blog.jammer-store.com/2012/06/texting-while-walking-would-you-like-it-to-become-illegal/
http://www.technobuffalo.com/2012/05/14/new-jersey-town-begins-fining-pedestrians-for-texting-while-walking/
http://ohtheplaceswesee.com/2013/01/26/love-food-love-art-route-yourself-through-chicago-ohare/

Don't Ignore Your Inner Voice/Intuition

Don't ignore your inner voice/intuition. 

Several months ago I attended a training. I was running late, so when I entered the training room, I had to take whatever seat was open, so I choose the one where I could get to with the most ease, meaning without having to crawl over people's laps. Just before sitting down I looked at the person sitting right next to where I would sit and a thought ran across my mind---"this man to the left of you is a pedophile"....I thought that was an odd thought and why would I think that? Was it the way he was dressed, his hair cut, his shoes?

During one of the last days of training the man sitting next to me revealed to the class that he had recently come from jail and had been imprisoned for attempted pedophilia. Hmmm, my first instinct was right, my inner voice/intuition didn't fail me.

How many times do we ignore that voice or feeling because we think we are judging someone. You are not judging someone when you listen to that voice. You're intuition is what keeps you and your family safe.....it doesn't matter where you are; church, store, school...there are good and bad people every where....just be aware of them and pay attention to your inner voice---

Picture: http://embraceurdestiny.com/following-your-inner-voice/

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure #selfdefense

Benjamin Franklin once said "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." No truer words have been spoken about self defense, which I'm sure he wasn't talking about when he said this. 

What's the last thing you want to hear a pilot say when you're up in the air on a plane? Get you're parachute on, we're going to crash land. 

Like a parachute, the physical moves of #selfdefense should be the very last resource you should have to use, when trying to keep yourself or family safe. 

So what resource should you first use? Prevention

Picture: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T-10_parachute

WHY PORTRAYING SELF CONFIDENCE IS IMPORTANT

"A good number of women who are attacked are chosen because of the way they presented themselves. Something about their posture told the assailant, 'here is a weak woman, I can take her'. If you are scared out of your gourd, it will show.

"Low self esteem or fearfulness looks like slouched shoulders; head down, arms folded in front or in pockets. Confidence looks like walking tall, shoulders back, head up, eye to eye contact, arms at the side. One statistic revealed that those trained in martial arts are less likely to ever be attacked because of the way they carry themselves. They’ve been trained to defend themselves and to not take a weak position. They have confidence.

"Try this experiment. The next time you’re in a public place, mall, grocery store, the beach, no matter, walk past all the people and look them directly in the eye. You might want to smile a little or offer a “how ya doin’?” so they don’t think you’re stalking them. You’ll be amazed at the number of people who will not look at you. They’ll look down or away but not at you. Of course, in some cultures it’s not proper to look people in the eye. Be sensitive to that. But in many circles you will find it hard to find 10 people who will look at you.

"By you looking at them, in some subconscious way you’re communicating that you are not afraid. You’re not sending nonverbal clues that you lack confidence. To get into the practice of always looking people in the eye, take it one step further and see what color eyes they have. It only takes a quick glance, you’re not starring down people but if you make an effort to determine eye color, you can be confident that you’re properly looking people head on in the eyes.

"Get your hands out of your pockets when you walk. Uncross those arms that are locked across your chest. Not only does it look stronger and friendlier to have open arms, it’s safer. Should the need arise that you need to thwart off a would-be attacker; you’re going to need your arms to free yourself. How easy it is for one to come up from behind you and grab you if your arms are tucked neatly away? You’re just making it easy. How can you poke out eyeballs, or jab Adam’s apples or throw an elbow to the ribs if your arms are hugging yourself.

"'But I AM scared,' you confess. There are two things you can do about that. One is take some self defense classes and learn how to not be afraid. The other and immediate method to change how you project yourself is to fake it until you make it. You may be scared out of your wits, but if you get the self talk going, “I am NOT afraid” and get the body language to follow it, head up, shoulders back, arms open, then you’re at least giving the allusion that you are not a weak prey.

"'Half of your battle is in the mind. Do something about it.'"

Written by Emily Clark 
To read the entire artcile please go to the following web site http://www.articlesfactory.com/articles/health/3-powerful-ways-to-portray-confidence-and-success.html
Picture: http://www.stuff-about.com/2010/09/100-simple-things-we-take-for-granted-9.html

Don't loud me daddy

A couple of weeks ago we had a dinner party with some new found friends. One of our guests was a 2 year old who was very curious about everything including opening every door to every room of our home, forget personal privacy, hahaha. 

The reason I share this is there was something that little person said that really made me think about how we talk to our little ones and how it sounds and feels to them. When his father was getting frustrated with him, his dad said to the child, stop opening those doors, the little guy said, "Daddy don't loud me"--which meant, don't yell at me, which thankfully his father wasn't yelling, but I found it interesting how a child perceives different scolding and how we as adults need to be careful with our words and how we say them.

I loved what Ben Stein said about screaming at our children "Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny."



Sources:
Picture http://www.theguardian.com/money/2008/jun/02/workandcareers2
Quote http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/abuse.html#oPACA172083dVq5c.99

Revolution is a transfer of power

So what comes of abuse to a child? Fear which turns into hatred as the child becomes older. How that child learned from you to express themselves eventually may become abusive behavior toward you, their own children....


A reform is a correction of abuses; a revolution is a transfer of power. Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton

Sources
Picture http://johnbelldar.org/pb/wp_b4d5b4cc/wp_b4d5b4cc.html
Quote http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/abuse_2.html#KpVBOj4gL5WAXUhU.99

The right of self defense never ceases

Parents please remember this

Parents please remember this

"The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse."

Edmund Burke

Sources: 
Picture http://nycole-mazar.blogspot.com/2012/10/domestic-violence-nature-vs-nurture.html
Quote http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/abuse.html#oPACA172083dVq5c.99

Kerry Washington Sheds Light On An Invisible Kind Of Domestic Abuse

"Kerry Washington Sheds Light On An Invisible Kind Of Domestic Abuse" 

by Melissa Jeltsen Huffinton Post Posted: 09/16/2014 

"....Kerry Washington....

"On Monday, the Emmy-nominated actress spoke out about an often-overlooked reason why women stay in abusive relationships: Domestic Abuse.

"'It's the reason why so many people stay,' she said in an interview with The Huffington Post. 'That whole hashtag #WhyIStayed that happened last week, you saw how many of those responses were about feeling trapped financially.'

....

"Financial abuse is a tactic often used by abusers to control and isolate their partners. It takes many forms: Abusers may drastically limit their victims' access to cash so they have no money of their own if they want to flee. They may sabotage their victims' ability to work, or pile up debt under their victims' names. Experts cite financial abuse as one of the top reasons why many victims are unable to escape abusive relationships.

"'I think people just aren't as aware of financial abuse,' Washington told HuffPost. 'If a woman isn't even aware of the dynamics of financial abuse -- what it looks like, what it is -- she may not even know that that's part of the tools being used to control her and manipulate her and keep her trapped. When there is more information around it, people can begin to identify it and then get the help they need.'

....

"'Finances are almost always a weapon of choice,' she says in the video. 'Taking away access to cash, destroying credit, jeopardizing jobs -- financial abuse leaves invisible bruises that can take decades to heal.'

....

NEED HELP? IN THE U.S., CALL 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) FOR THE NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE

To read the entire article go to the following website http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/16/kerry-washington-domestic-violence-abuse_n_5823600.html

Picture: http://homesafehome.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/economic-abuse-what-are-the-warning-signs/

How can someone get out of an abusive relationship?

So the question here is, "if I'm in an abusive relationship how do I get out of it as well as how do I stop having these types of relationships?"

One of the things I would tell you is that you're not alone. Unfortunately there have been many women and for that fact men in your same situation. That shouldn't diminish the fact that you're in this situation nor does it make it ok. 

You are the only person who can decide to get yourself out of this situation. One of the best resources that you can use is National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE, and their website is http://www.thehotline.org/2012/07/finding-resources-in-your-area/

The people at the National Domestic Violence Hotline can assist you in creating a plan to leave your abusive relationship safely.

Definition of Victim

"Vic·tim

: a person who has been attacked, injured, robbed, or killed by someone else

: a person who is cheated or fooled by someone else

: someone or something that is harmed by an unpleasant event (such as an illness or accident)"

Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/victim

Parking Lot Safety Tips

IMPORTANT: 1) Be aware of your surroundings, 2) be calm, 3) trust your instincts 

If you don't feel comfortable walking to your car by yourself, ask some one to walk out with you or when you see a group of people that you feel comfortable with walk out with them. At many places there are security guards, they get paid to make sure you are safe so use them if you feel comfortable around them.

Before getting into your car look around, under and in it.

Park close to the place that you are going into specially if you know you may be getting out during the night (dark).

Report suspicious looking and loitering people

If you have gone shopping make sure you are not distracted by your bags, children---have your keys out and ready.

Picture: http://friendsofrcparks.com/parks-to-parking-lots-dont-it-always-seem-to-go/